Courage

Is it possible to have a favourite competency? A competency is just a name to describe a behaviour. For example, "organising" is a competency to describe a person's ability to pull together resources, such as people, money and support, to get things done*. So, is it possible to have a favourite behaviour? Do I sound like a HR nerd? Don't answer that.

image credit: www.blastr.com

Anyhoo, I have one. It's called "managerial courage" and it's hard to come by. What is managerial courage? I know you want to know. Lominger define it as:

• Says what needs to be said
• Gives feedback that is current and actionable
• Directly deals with people issues
• Making hard decisions when needed*

The thing is though, you don't see much managerial courage in organisations. Maybe we don't see much in society in general. I see a lot of people who won't take tough stands, who won't give feedback when needed, won't step up to and deal with issues, avoid conflict and won't take the heat. Leaders who hide behind the decisions of others and blame others for decisions. Leaders who are highly critical of their peers but are unaware of their own behaviour and it's impact.

Every now and again you do come across someone who has courage. It's usually not the beating on your chest, superhero type of courage. It's usually quieter, honest and with humility. I like the term wobbly courage. I have written about it in another blog for a leadership development program, and I was reminded of this term this week.

Wobbly courage is a term I love. I think it perfectly sums up the kind of courage we need to have to be successful and to be a good leader. Leadership is very little about that superhero type of courage where you become your alter ego, puff out your lycra swathed chest and swoop in to save the day in a difficult and dangerous situation. 

A discussion with an underperforming employee or a challenging customer is never like this. Giving feedback to someone more senior or providing some development ideas to a peer can be tough. Good leaders will have the courage to have these types of conversations but can you say you have felt like Superman or Wonder Woman? I can’t. Many times when I need to have a difficult conversation with someone or have to terminate a person’s employment I feel sick and want to put it off. Sound familiar? I have definitely gotten better at these conversations and working through these processes and so probably seem confident, but I’m very wobbly on the inside.

What is Courage?

There are all kinds of competency models that give examples about what managerial or leadership courage is. The Lominger Competency Libray is a good one but HR people like me also spend lots of time and energy developing them. They are usually boring. 

What are some of the things that resonate with me and some of the leaders I work with?

1. The ability to make tough decisions and follow through (even when you are feeling wobbly)
2. Saying the things that need to be said (even when it’s really hard)
3. Dealing with the hard situations (even when you don’t want to and it sucks!)
4. Showing up and facing up (when you would rather stay in bed with the covers over your head)
5. Knowing that you don’t and can’t know everything (the more you know the less you know)
6. Being generous with your time and knowledge
7. Including others in your problems (we seriously can’t do it all ourselves)
8. Being open, not defensive (see number 5)
9. Being able to look people in the eye and speak to them from the heart (being  authentic)
10. Having standards both personally and of others, and expectations of meeting them....but courage to accept when we fall short.  

What would you add?

*Definition taken from Lombardo, M M. and Eichinger, R W. FYI For Your Improvement: A Guide for Development and Coaching (2009)

Leaving basics

Joining a new company in a new job is usually pretty exciting. Also nerve wracking but the unknown newness of it all is great. Well I think it is. Usually when we are joining a company we are on our best behaviour and out to impress. Some of us when we leave, are not. That's not to say that managers and companies always treat their employees well when they leave. They don't. Some examples I have seen:

• Being critical of an employee choosing to leave when obviously* said company is so good that how could anyone want to leave! I mean really.
• Lying about the reasons an employee is leaving the company because, again, how could anyone want to leave such a great company*
• Excluding the employee from all meetings that employee would normally attend during their notice period even though the employee did a good job during their service.
• "walking" an employee because they resigned. I understand this if the employee is in a sales role or going to a competitor, but in some cases it just seems, well, a bit not nice. In these cases the employee doesn't get to say goodbye to their peers and/or direct reports and I think that reflects badly on the company to the employees left.
• Attempting or actually withholding benefits that the employee is due.

*said with extreme sarcasm

Sometimes it's hard to leave some companies with dignity but I think you should. If you can. Here are some tips:

1. Un-subscribe from all your email lists - this includes shopping sites, hotel deals and holiday teaser type emails. The trouble with these lists is that once you have left your email will be forwarded to someone else in the company, for business continuity. If your email is filled with such emails the company may have wished you had left earlier. That's what personal email addresses are for. Only use your work email address for work related content.
2. Do not send one of those parting emails to the CEO or equivalent where you tell him/her and usually a number of  other senior people what you really thought about working for the company. Worse if your company hasn't shut this down, do not send an email to "all users". Most of us work in pretty small industries. This one will come back to bite you at some point.
3. Don't steal stuff. Customer lists, stationary, products or work that you have done including documents. If you want to take examples of your work, just ask. I have never been refused. Stealing some suff will just piss annoy your previous employer. Stealing some things will cause legal action to be taken against you.
4. Return all the company property in your possession.
5. Keep up the good work. If you can and if it's possible. Leave on a good note.

Would love to hear the stories you have about people leaving companies badly! Hit me up.

Change the routine?

Wow I’m tired. I’m feeling ratty. I need a holiday. I get to this point every year about this time. I think we all do. The difference for me this year is that I haven’t really had a holiday all year. Work has been crazy busy with lots of changes and in July my family and I moved countries. Pooped I tell ya!

On Wednesday I changed something in my routine. It was a small thing but it made me ridiculously happy. What was it? I had lunch at McDonalds. Yep. At this point, if you were hoping for professional and exacting insights into human behavior and how to manage yourself, you should probably leave the building.

You see I was just sick of everything. Sick of work, sick of not exercising, sick of the food I was eating and the clothes I was wearing. Just sick of everything. Have you been there? Just changing one thing made a big difference. Normally I have lunch with a work colleague and we visit one of the many hawker centres around the industrial area of Singapore we work in. The food is cheap and delicious and the service is quick.

On Wednesday being completely sick of everything, including Asian food, I just wanted a Big Mac from McDonalds. And that’s what I had, with fries and a coke and some nuggets with sweet and sour sauce. Followed with a festive chaser from Starbucks. It. Was. Awesome. I got back to the office and was able to focus and get some work done that I had been putting off, and I don’t think it was due to the 2 days of calories I had just consumed. I was so into my work that I worked past when I should have left to pick up my son. Was in the zone all because of a small change in routine. 

Yesterday I wore jeans to work. On a Thursday. I'm changing it up all over the place!

When has a change in routine made the difference for you?

Me or Team?

I was having a great conversation recently with a leader. He was telling me about a conversation he had with one of his team. The team member was telling the leader about all the things that he had done and achieved. He constantly said “I” did this, and “I” did that. The leader was not impressed.  You see the team member was leading a large team of employees, all working towards the same goal. The Manager was taking all the credit when he couldn’t have done it all by himself.

The same leader was also telling me how he emailed his boss to tell him about the great work his team had done. He boss replied with praise for the work he had done leading them. When the team does well it reflects positively on the person leading them. Conversely, if the team is struggling and directionless the leader will be blamed.

Is this a contradiction? What am I trying to say?

Well the thing is, the great leaders I have worked with and respect, don’t take credit for the work their team has achieved. Instead they praise and point out their great work to others, particularly those more senior in the organization. They are generous and modest.

Of course really good leaders have had a role to play in their teams doing well. They set the direction, showed the way, helped set goals for their team, gave feedback against their progress, listened and coached….

Less than good leaders and managers tend to either micro manage tasks, do the work themselves and take all the credit. They want to control seeing this as a form of power, which it is just not a very effective one.

So when can you talk about your very own achievements? When can you take credit?

Well, in a performance review you should point out the things you have done well. Definitely. But if they are the things your team should be doing you are in trouble. Also in a job interview you should talk about the things you did. Not the things we did. Interviewers always want to know the role you played in the success of the team or the organisation so they can see how you would fit.

In October I attended a HR Conference and I can tell you that sometimes it’s not that exciting. But sometimes it is and sometimes the speakers challenge me and how I view my work in the organization I work within. Professor David Clutterbuck spoke about talent and how we define talent, the definition is that it’s contextual and very, very difficult to define.

But something stuck. The thought that “talent” is not achieving for yourself but achieving for a greater cause or purpose. The same applies for leadership and that's the stuff I'm talking about here. Great leaders help people do better and always are complimentary and modest.