Feedback

Feedback

Ah a word to strike fear into any self-respecting employee. Who doesn’t feel anxious when they are about to get some feedback. Who doesn’t feel nervous and/or defensive. It’s natural isn’t it?

Often the feedback we receive is part of an ill organised, poorly trained  process called “Performance Management”. Sometimes we are lucky enough to work with peers or Managers who are skilled at giving feedback and genuinely care about you and are invested in helping you improve. Such a gift.

No matter how skilled or how good the intent of someone giving you feedback, the effect relies a lot on our ability to receive it. Common reactions are:

·         To be defensive and argue

·         To say nothing and skulk away to lick our wounds

·         To cry

·         To be angry

·         To ignore it

·         To bitch about it with our friends

BUT, what if it could help you develop? What if it doesn’t?

My top 5 tips for dealing with feedback

1.   LISTEN. That means shutting your mouth and stop your brain from thinking about how to defend what someone is telling you. Just listen. Take it in. Write it down. Don’t talk.

I had a great Manager in my first HR job. He cared about me getting better and he gave me lots of great feedback. I repaid his kindness by arguing, defending myself and generally being a pain. He used to hold his hand up as if staying stop. Well he was saying stop. Stop talking and start listening!

 

2.   ASK QUESTIONS. Not defensive angry questions like “how you can say that?!” but curious and enquiring questions like “could you tell me more about that? Do you have an example to illustrate what you are talking about?”

3.   PROCESS. Think about what the feedback means to you. Is it helpful? Is the person genuinely trying to help? I once had a peer who told me I spoke too much during the team meeting. I really reflected on that feedback. No one had ever said that to me before and I really didn’t think I talked too much in our meetings. On reflection  I think the problem was that this person needed to speak more in the meetings but blaming me was an easier option than owning their behavior. I thought about that feedback for more than a week and then decided it wasn’t about me and discarded it.

Other feedback I received I really took to heart and thought carefully about how I could integrate it into my style.

4.   SAY THANK YOU It’s pretty hard to give another person feedback. Sometimes that person has agonised about how to deliver the message so as not to upset you (or themselves). They have demonstrated courage and that they care for you, your wellbeing and your career. Thank them.

5.   OWN IT. It’s relatively easy to give positive feedback but people don’t generally like to give feedback that might be perceived as negative or could cause conflict. If someone has taking the time, you should try and own it. You could ask others for their opinion. The more you own your own behavior the better chance you have to do something about it

 

Would love to hear your feedback stories!

2014 Goals update

Every January there is a flurry of information and fluff about new year's resolutions and goals for the year. 2014 was no exception and I found my social media channels filled with information on this topic. I wrote a post about my goals for this blog in January.

Much of the problem with setting goals and new year's resolutions is the probability of actually achieving them! Keeping motivated is about checking in with where you are at with your goals. What progress have you made? Great video here about motivation!

Is too much travel getting in the way of me achieving my goals?

We are nearly 3 month's into the year and what have I achieved? My goals for this blog are as follows:

1. Once a month feature a video interview someone interesting about how they are got to where they are in their career..I'm going to learn how to shoot and edit videos.

Update: So far I have asked one person to let me interview them on video. Since that time I have been travelling so much that I haven't been able to organise this.

Status: Behind. WAY behind! 

2. Blog at least once a week. I lost my way in about September last year and never got my blogging grove back.

Update: So I should have written about 11 posts by now. I have written 6 including this one.

Status: Behind. WAY behind! 

3. Speak/present at 3 different events during the year, either on improving your career, being a full time working mum who travels a lot or something HR related. I'm open people and I work for free!

Update: Last week I spoke at a small Learning and Development Forum. I spoke on advancing your career and included topics on knowing your purpose, breadth and depth in your career and building credibility and influencing (potential future post). I think it went well.

Status: On track.

So having one goal on track and two behind is not a great start to the year. I didn't anticipate how busy work would be during the first quarter of the year and I may have been unrealistic with some of my goals, which is a common thing that happens when setting goals. What to do? Well, I'm going to get focused on writing a blog post each week and I'm going to set a date to do my first video interview.

How are your 2014 goals tracking? Would love to hear.

Lisa

Travel for work: the positive stuff

So a while back I wrote this post on travel. This is another post on travel for work but more from the perspective of how good it is for your career. Over the years I have interviewed many people for roles that require some form of travel or another. Many people don’t want these kind of roles. Some do, but many don’t. My hardest sell was for roles requiring lots of travel to India.

  

Last week I was in Houston (Texas), for work, and I was reflecting on how lucky I have been in a couple of my roles to travel internationally. My first real business trip in my career was to London, travelling business class. That was awesome. I love the perspective you gain from these kind of trips. Experiencing a different part of the business and a different culture. I think it makes you a better leader.

Without doubt some of my best work and career development opportunities have been because I got to travel. The things I most remember were the interactions with people and the things I got to experience. 

Some examples…..

Longest most amazing day ever

While in India where I was doing some HR Audit work (kill me) I got to travel to a little known and remote place called Mundra, located in the upper north-west corner of India.  The landscape resembled roadrunner country and to get there the plane landed at an airforce base. The company I was working for at the time had developed the operation there as well as the housing and amenities for the employees they had to attract to the area to work. The HR Manager’s role went well beyond what you would expect. She was responsible for ensuring employees had adequate housing, providing education for their children, and more.

The longest most amazing day ever started with completing the HR audit at the work location and then going on a tour of the employee housing and the school. Lunch was followed by a long drive, on a road shared with buses, trucks, motorbikes, cows and elephants. Yep. The purpose of the trip was to visit a palace which provided the set for many Bollywood movies and then we had a drink on the beach while camels meandered past. We were invited to meet the Maharaja of Kutch and share a meal. When I finally returned to my hotel room that evening I couldn’t believe the day I had just experienced. I felt that time had been stretched (as I often would feel in India) and I could not have fitted in anything more varied and different to what I did that day. It seems surreal when I now think of it.

What did I learn?

The day was about learning how time is viewed in India (everything will happen in it’s own time) and gave me great insight into companies who provided more than just a job for employees. The leaders of this business were not just managing a workforce, they were managing a community.

As a tourist I would never had such an amazing experience.

Working with team members on the other side of the world!

Probably one of the hardest things in global organisations is developing relationships when you don’t get to see people! Geographical separation coupled with cultural differences mean that misunderstandings can be blown out of proportion and the ability to get things done can be hampered. One company I worked for would have me travel to their overseas head office a couple of times a year for 2 weeks at a time and that made a massive difference to our team getting to know each other and being effective. It also gave me visibility to other leaders in the business.

Last week I was at a global meeting (which happened at about the same time last year) and our team were able to continue to build the relationships we had already established. I got to connect with some other corporate people who I had met previously and met some people who I have only had contact via email. I also went to my first Rodeo and saw REO Speedwagon perform. They still got it! I learnt a lot this week and am leaving with a very clear focus and a very tired head. All good.

What did I learn?

Despite advances in technology for communication and collaboration, I just don't think they can beat meeting in person on regular occasions. 

You can always communicate!

By far the biggest learning experience I have had working and travelling overseas was in China. One particular trip I was being picked up by my local contact who didn't speak English. He bought with him a young Chinese woman who speaks about 6 words of English. I speak 2 words in Mandarin and had Charlie with me who was 4months old and still being breastfed! I flew into Guangzhou not knowing what Hotel I was staying in but also knowing that I was having dinner with a group of Chinese people who also didn't speak English. Who would do this?

It helps that the Chinese love babies and children!

It turned out to be a great dinner and trip. We all seemed to be able to communicate over a meal and Chinese wine and these people left the young Chinese women to stay with me in the hotel so I would be safe. I'm really not sure how much use she would have been (seeing as she was half my size and we couldn't really communicate) but it was a kind gesture.

The next morning my interpreter joined me, which meant the standard of communication improved, particularly on a business level. In the end it was a successful trip.

What did I learn?

Speaking the language is really just one way to communicate. There are many other ways and strangely on this trip I think relationships were built during the times we couldn't use language to communicate. These were often over meals, which seems to be a universal way to build and strengthen relationships, no matter what country you are in.

So what's the point?

Travelling for work can be hard. It messes with any sort of routine, it's very tiring and can be difficult if you have children that need care. If you can work with all these challenges then the difference it can make to your career can be massive. Don't rule it out!

Part-time work

I’m about to be controversial. Probably*

Recently one of my friends on Facebook  shared this story on part time work. It made me mad.

 Part time work has been around for a while now. It’s usually the reserved for the new mum, trying to cope with small children, running a household and also trying to earn some money to provide for their family.

I have worked part time and it’s hard. There’s a  premise is that you have more time to spend with your family. Quality family time. It’s a crock really. Well maybe not. If you can work in a role where there is a definite start and end, it’s probably ok. Shift work might work. A role where you don’t have to take work home or you don’t need to travel. I’m sure there are some jobs where part time works. I haven’t really had one of these.

This article makes the point that you end up squishing full time hours into the part time hours the organizational has agreed you can work. I think that for the most part this is true in my experience.

When I had Aiden, and he was 4 months old I returned to work 3 days a week, and then 4 days and said I would take phone calls on the other days to support the organization. I also took calls while I was on maternity leave and did some work that I could do from home, which was my choice but I must admit I was worried that I may not have a job to return to. I took phone calls from employees about their redundancy package while I changed Aiden’s nappy as he screamed. I don’t know how the employee didn’t notice the crying on the end of the line. Maybe he was too worried that he was losing his job? Maybe he didn’t care? I also took calls standing outside one of my new mummy friends’ houses to talk to a manager at length about terminating someone’s employment, when I desperately wanted to be inside learning about how other mummies were coping with breast feeding and very little sleep.

I stayed up late and got up early to “express” on a trip to Perth so I could continue to breastfeed my son when I returned to Sydney. I was exhausted. I also attached myself to the pump while sitting in a storeroom at work with no lock, so I could provide some breast milk at least part of the time he was at daycare.

When I did return to work and I was so tired that each day I wanted to crawl under my desk and sleep and was so upset that the business head didn’t even remember I was coming back that first day.  I wanted to crawl under my desk and cry. I guess they didn’t realize the stress it put on my family to turn up that Monday morning. It’s a big deal returning to work. There is no formula to work it out and there are very few women to show you the way. When you manage to get your shit act together it’s an amazing feat.

We are so far away from supporting women to return to work after having children that it’s really not funny. We now have paid maternity leave, which is great but what we really need to better access to childcare and better strategies to support women. We need to change the conversation. Instead of people saying:

·         “Do you think you spend enough time with your boys?”

·         “Have you asked to work part-time yet? (when I was working full time with 2 boys under school age)”

·         “Oh those boys must miss you when you are away” (reference to me travelling to do my job. No one asks a man that)”

·         “I’m so glad my wife didn’t have to work” and “I couldn’t have stayed home when the kids were sick” , comments from men .

 I have all these comments said to me. They are mostly well meaning and definitely not helpful.

But my biggest gripe is with this article where it says that when you work part time you should not take on anything extra, and push back…..WHAT?!  Seriously? Look if you work and career is not that important and it’s just a means to an end, fine.  But if at some point you want to progress why would you sit back? Why would you not contribute more. THIS. IS. DUMB. ADVICE. You need to lean in. I see the difference between how women are perceived when they hold fast to their part time hours and those who go beyond. Let’s face it, many of us working in full time roles go beyond these hours, particularly as roles become more senior. Across the board, employees who are more engaged and who contribute more will always have more opportunities.

While I’m on the soap box I also want to talk about managing your part time work. The reality is the organisation is unlikely (unless they have an evolved HR and management team) to be forthcoming in working out a part time role for you. YOU NEED TO DO THIS. You shouldn’t have to. I know, but this is reality. Also, I have seen some women return to work 2 days a week. I’m sorry. This is stupid.  What value does it bring to you? (not much money) What does it bring to the organisation? (not much value).  Childcare is expensive and oversubscribed but try and work it out if you can.

If you are returning to work:

1.       Have a plan. Ask other women how they did it. Get on with it. It will be hard. You will be tired. It will get better. Promise.

2.       Your partner must help and you must ask them to help, even if you are working part time. You must let them do things the way they do them, not the way you do them. Let it go.

3.       Do not stop contributing. There are times when it will be tough. There will be times when you have to juggle. Men don’t have to do this and it’s not fair. Get on with it.

4.       In my view, if you can make it work, get back to full time work as soon as you can. I think it’s a poor bet to leave work and let someone else support you indefinitely. Keep your finger in something that is valuable. It might be part time work, it might be community work.  What happens if your relationship breaks up? What happens if your partner passes away? What will you do? You have kids to support and you need something for yourself.

*This is my opinion and my opinion only. I truly support the choices any woman makes in relation to their children, their family, their work and their career.

Capturing opportunities

When I finished school and headed to Uni I had no idea what I wanted to do, or be when I grew up. I'm sure there are thousands of 17 year olds out there who are feeling exactly the same way right now. I figured that doing a degree would be a good thing, and it would delay me having to make a decision about my life for 3 years. At the end of 3 years I still had no idea.

I got a job in retail. I knew that this was not what I wanted to do for the rest of my life but I figured I would learn great skills, and I did. I eventually became a store manager and along the way I learnt about customers and running a business, and managing people and understanding the difference between revenue and profit and what drives both. I learnt how to deal with conflict. Fast. An angry yelling customer standing right in front of you with only a glass counter as a barrier, means you work this stuff out pretty fast.

During my time in retail I became interested in how businesses manage people and get the best out of them. I went back to Uni and study Business and Human Resource Management, part time. Studying part-time takes a looooong time. As I neared the end of my second degree I started to wonder how the hell I was going to convince a company to employ me in a HR role. I got determined because I had been working my butt off working full-time and studying part-time. I wasn't going to let that go to waste.

I set about to look for any opportunity to get any sort of HR experience in any context. I took a casual job in the university business school with one of the HR lecturers doing filing and photocopying and finding HR articles. I participated in a mentoring program run by the university and was so lucky to be paired with a HR Manager working at a sugar mill. He took me to meetings and asked my opinion about things. I attended training sessions with Managers at the sugar mill. I attended free and very cheap Industrial relations and human resources networking and training events. Anything that was remotely related.

I then set about trying to work out how my retail management experience related to the discipline of Human resource Management. When you work in retail other companies don't tend to acknowledge the value of the skills you learn dealing with the general public day-in and day-out. Communication skills, conflict management skills, dealing with difficult people, how to manage people......

I was so proud when I landed my first entry level HR job (which paid more than my retail Store Manager job) and I got the job not because I could demonstrate experience in HR, but because I could demonstrate my tenacity and attitude.

More recently I decided I wanted to improve my photography skills. I'm an OK amateur photographer and am very critical of the shots I take. I get frustrated when the image doesn't turn out the way I see it in my mind or what's in front of me. Despite this, friends will say, "how did you get so good?" I look for opportunities to practice my skills that are real and challenging. I participate in "photo a day" challenges, I have attended a number of courses at Sydney Photographic Workshops including an introduction to digital SLR photography, so I could actually use my camera! I also looked for opportunities to take photos at events like conferences and work events. These experiences feel REAL and force me to take photos that I hope will create a record that are special for the person or the company. Offering to take photos for people has also had unintended and generous consequences. I had the opportunity last week to take photos for a very special book launch and in return I have been offered a place in an Executive Women's development program.

I certainly don't want to become a professional photographer but I want to take better photos of my family and to illustrate my blog posts. Opportunities like these are forcing me to learn and be a better photographer.

So what do you want to do differently? What do you want to learn? What do you want to be better at? How can you seek out opportunities to gain practical experience or demonstrate your tenacity and focus? Would love to hear about it!

#hashtag #getfocused

Last week I discovered an article in the Australian Financial Review titled "#boredatwork means #yourfired". The gist of the article was that over 300,000 people had used the hashtag #boredatwork on Instagram during their first week back at work this January. #hatemyjob and #hatemyboss were also popular.

What’s a hashtag you say? Check out Wikipedia

Returning to work after the Christmas/New Year break is tough, particularly in countries like Australia sitting squarely in the beautiful summer weather. A couple of weeks lolling about eating and drinking, having afternoon naps and if you’re lucky lying by the beach or having swim is often what is needed at the end of a busy year. Many of us find it tough returning to the reality of work and paying the bills.

My first week back was tough. The weather was fantastic in Sydney which I could witness from my office window. If there was ever a disadvantage to having an office with natural light, this was it! I wasn’t really ready to be back at work, like most of the office. I wanted more holidays but I don’t have much leave accrued and my oldest son Aiden starts school this year, so I need to save what I have for this school holidays.

Boredom at work can strike at any time. Not just on returning from holidays. We all have times at work that aren’t that interesting or fun so what do you do when they strike? Here's my top 3 suggestions:

1.      Keep off social media. While it’s tempting to slip your phone out and have a cyberspace vent, it’s really stupid. HR people like me get calls from Managers having to deal with this kind of stuff. Seriously, if you #hateyourjob are #boredatwork and #hateyourboss you may find yourself #unemployed. The saying “If you can’t say something nice….” applies to social media.  Also prospective employers will often go online and check applicants Facebook or Twitter accounts during the recruitment process. While I ask Managers I'm working with on recruiting roles not to do this, it still happens. What kind of image do you want to portray to the world?

2.      Remember why you’re here. What’s your career plan? What are you trying to achieve? What do you need to learn? Get focused and get moving. I spent my first weeks back from leave planning what I need to achieve during the year. While not that exciting it has got my head into the right space and I feel like I'm on the way to achieving what I need to.

3.      Deal with your boss. If you seriously have issues with your boss read this post

We are nearly through January and what have you achieved? How are your 2014 goals tracking?

2014 Goals

Oh I know. Boring. Another post about new years resolutions and goals for the year. Pffffft!

The thing is though if you are going to keep track of your career and where you want it to be, you have to take time to reflect on what you have achieved and what you wished you had done better. Sometimes we don't realise how much we have achieved or how far we have come. A little bit of looking back is a good thing.

I wrote a post here about what I achieved and what I was grateful for in 2013.

I also looked back on my most popular blogs posts. Here they are:

• My top 7 interview tips is worth a read if you are thinking about looking for a new job in the new year.
• Managing your career: keeping your mind fit. Many of us make resolutions about our physical health in the new year. What about your mental health? 
• Is 2014 the year to do something about your Manager? Read My top 3 tips for dealing with...well..a crap Manager!
• Take a break. Most of us in Australia have a break over the Christmas/New Year period but maybe this is the perfect time to plan your next holiday?
• 5 ways to future proof your career.  Have you done this yet?

But what of 2014? Nothing better than a new year full of possibilities. A year when you could achieve anything or be anyone, though I recommend working out your purpose and being (the best version of) yourself.

I have set some goals for this blog. I originally started the blog because honestly, I was sick and tired of employees I work with expecting other people to somehow look after their career. My philosophy is that while there are people who will help you with your career and your goals, you have to take responsibility for your own development. This blog is about helping people do that.

I also started this blog to develop my blogging skills in a different content area. I write over at Secret Homes of Glebe but wanted to try my hand at something more in my career area. I also wanted to raise my profile as a HR professional. While I will continue to do this my goals for 2014 for the blog are:

• Once a month feature a video interview someone interesting about how they are got to where they are in their career..I'm going to learn how to shoot and edit videos!
• Blog at least once a week. I lost my way in about September last year and never got my blogging grove back.
• Speak/present at 3 different events during the year, either on improving your career, being a full time working mum who travels a lot or something HR related. I'm open people and I work for free!

What do you want to achieve in 2014?